"The angel said, 'Don't be afraid,
Mary. God is honoring you. Look! You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you will
name him Jesus. He
will be great and he will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will
give him the throne of David his father. He will rule over Jacob's house forever, and there will be no
end to his kingdom.' Then Mary said to the angel, 'How will this happen since
I haven't had sexual relations with a man?' The angel replied, 'The Holy Spirit will come over you and
the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore, the one who is to be
born will be holy. He will be called God's Son. Look, even in her old age, your relative Elizabeth has
conceived a son. This woman who was labeled "unable to conceive" is now six
months pregnant.
Nothing is impossible for God.' Then Mary said, 'I am the Lord's servant. Let it be with
me just as you have said.' Then the angel left her."
Mary’s going to be having a baby – what a blessing! And not
just any baby, mind you, but God incarnate – what a miracle! She should be
happy, she should be rejoicing, she should be pleased. And yet, she’s fearful, she’s
in denial. I can’t help but be reminded of the grief process when I read Mary’s
reaction to Gabriel and his news for her. Fear – “Do not be afraid, Mary.”
Denial – “how will this happen?” Acceptance – “Let it be.” All of these are
characteristics of grief.
It’s happy news, but Mary’s reaction isn’t happy. Are we
really all that surprised? I mean, Mary’s been told she’s going to have to bear
the Christ child, the Messiah. It won’t be in the normal way – she hasn’t had
sex yet. She’s carrying God’s Son, and she is still a child herself. Change is
coming. BIG change is coming. She’s leaving a lot behind – plans for a normal
life, her childhood, her life as she knows it. No wonder she’s afraid, no
wonder she’s in denial. When we leave things behind, even for something better,
it’s difficult. We have to process the change, and in doing so, we often have
waves of worry and denial and anxiousness and sadness even in the midst of our
happiness and joy at the amazing change that is to come. But the uncertainty is
difficult. Mary’s situation is uncertain and disconcerting. She’s grieving all
that she’s known, all that she’s planned for the future of her life.
Part of Mary’s looking forward to God’s future means leaving
plans for her own future behind. She will miss that. I can imagine there would
even be difficult times in her life with Joseph and Jesus where she would
wonder what life would be like if things had been different. But they won’t be
different. And she might even be sad that she’ll never know what it’s like to
live a “normal” life. Perhaps that’s part of her calling. Perhaps that’s what
it means for God to “honor” her – that her life will be set apart, it will be
holy. I can’t imagine that would be easy. I can imagine she would need to
grieve the loss of her expectations for the future.
Perhaps we are called to do the same. Though we often think
of grief as bad because we associate it with death and loss and sadness, it is
a good and healthy process. It helps us sort through the change and
transformation that is happening in our lives. Change and transformation comes
with being honored by God, with being called by God. God doesn’t promise ease,
but God does promise that we will birth great things when we accept our
callings. As we prepare for God’s future, for the great birth that is promised
to us, may we also prepare to accept what God wills to grow and birth in each
of us; may we rejoice in change and transformation, and may we also take a few
moments to think about what that new birth means leaving behind.
We are the Lord's servants. Let it be as God says.
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